When it comes to making a marriage work, Carl and Norma Evans of rural Perry seem to have found the formula for success—after all they’ve been married for 72 years.

Photo by Carolyn Kaberline

Carl and Norma Evans of rural Perry.

Married January 25, 1938, the couple first met while they were in high school although they attended different schools: He attended Oskaloosa
High School, and she went to Perry High School.

“I grew up in this neighborhood,”
Carl said referring to their current residence north of Williamstown.

“My folks owned a little farm near
here, and everyone in the area used
to have card parties every Saturday
night. We went to those and then
later there were house dances.” Norma’s family lived nearby, and it
was at one of these
neighborhood social gatherings
that the two first came together.

“We met at one of those dances,”
Norma said, “and we’ve been going to
dances ever since.”

Despite this early meeting, the two didn’t date seriously until after they graduated from high school. “We didn’t have a car then, so I would ride my horse over to her folks’ house,” Carl said, adding that a typical date might consist of visiting or playing cards.

Finally after “three or four years of dating,” Norma said that Carl proposed, “and I accepted.”

The newlyweds’ first home was about a mile south of the old Dean Grade School; the young couple finally bought their own home—their current residence on Highway 59-- in the spring of 1940.

“When we first moved here there were just four houses nearby,” Carl said.

“They were all older,” Norma added. “We were the kids, but now it’s just the opposite.” Norma pointed out that then as well as now everyone was willing to help out when necessary.

In addition to farming and raising cattle and hogs on their land, Carl also worked at other jobs—first for the railroad, then ten years for Hamm Quarries, and finally retiring from the Jefferson County Highway Department after working there for 15 years.

While Norma worked outside of the home “very little,” she did help out on the farm whenever she was needed. “After he did the planting, I could take care of it. I learned to do about everything except bale with a side delivery rake.”

During this time the couple raised two daughters—Leeta Ellis and Delores Myers Robb— and stayed involved in many activities. “We always did things with other people,” Norma said. “We used to belong to a camping club. We did a lot of traveling and visited all 48 states.”

The two also talked of attending lots of card parties and dances. “We always enjoyed being with people,” Norma noted. “I think that gives one a broader outlook which helps.”

“There used to be a group of us that would get together and have fun,” Carl added. “When you didn’t have any money, you could still go out and have a good time.”

The Evans—both in their mid-nineties—said a lot of things had changed during their lifetimes from farming by horsepower to farming by tractor and being able to repair one’s own car to having to take it into mechanics “that have to look in a book to see what to do,” but the biggest change they felt was television.

“Television was a big change,” Carl said, noting that it opened up the world “way beyond what anyone would have thought.”

Norma agreed but added that “neighbors used to get together and visit, but now everyone seems to be in their own world.”

But despite all the changes they’ve seen, plus two daughters, four grandchildren, and seven great-grandchildren, what is the secret to a long marriage?

“The secret to a long marriage is a long life,” Carl said with a chuckle, adding that they’ve both been blessed with good health.

“The real secret to a long marriage,” said Norma, “is to give and take. You do a lot of giving and a lot of taking.” Norma added that the advice she’d give to newlyweds today is to be prepared “to give and take. This is such a different world today, but if you’re going to make a go of marriage you have to learn to give and take. Until you learn to do that, you’re going to have trouble.”